Story
Whys Get You Nowhere
There was something desperate about the look in her eyes, he noticed immediately, as he catered to the late night demands of the doorbell. It’s not like it was a surprise, to find her standing on his stoop unannounced, not much about her surprised him anymore. But something was off this night, something was colder and it wasn’t just the November chill.
She greeted him as normal, but he watched her hand shake mid-wave. He didn’t have time to even consider this however; she began chattering her way into his house practically before the door even finished swinging open. It’s nothing. He comforted himself, landing next to her on the well-worn couch.
“So, I got this new book yesterday, but no time to begin it of course life is just so hectic! Places to go, people to see, you know how it goes… it’s a wonder I even have time to breathe anymore!”
Time passed as always, she talked, he listened and occasionally prompted her on. This one-sided relationship has always been comforting, but tonight it was all wrong.
“I don’t know how you do it! Steady job, steady girlfriend. Where’s the fun in that?”
The time he spent listening to her was also time spent examining her, her ease and comfort and beauty. But he couldn’t help feeling, something’s just not right.
“I guess to each his own, huh? Max said that to me the other day… oh, before you ask, I don’t know how he is I’m done with that moved on with my life and all.”
Sitting attentively, noticing everything. He first zeroed in on her eyes, shifting around the room, avoiding his own. Her smile appeared more and more painful as the seconds ticked by. Her back, slouched against the seat cushions, looking tired and weary. Even her words seemed frantic and rushed, hiding something.
“Anyways, even if I was upset about Max, no need to dwell right? No one ever got anywhere from moping around. But I’m not sad, so it’s not the point. I even want on a date yesterday! You know that little Italian place downtown? I’ve gotten so into Italian food lately…”
As the first lights of dawn illuminated her face through the trees outside his window she said her goodbyes. He knew nothing more than he did when she tore in but somehow, that didn’t matter. Her eyes were dull now, yet they stayed focused in one place, she stood a little taller though her smile had abandoned her as the words trickled slower from her slowly tiring lips.
He knew something was wrong, and he knew she could handle it without him; she didn’t need him for that. What she had needed was a few hours of idle conversation, a few hours to forget whatever needed forgetting. Sometimes he wondered why she’d chosen him to listen to her late night chattering, why she always came back to him when she couldn’t even keep a boyfriend for more than a month.
Trudging to bed he comforts himself as always, reminding his frazzled mind not to dwell, because dwelling gets one nowhere, you just have to be thankful for what you have. After all, when have whys? Ever made a difference.